Conflict Resolution Using Nonviolent communication(NVC)

 

Conflict in the workplace is inevitable. Conflict in the workplace is a painful reality and a key reason for poor productivity and frustration. I have had my share of conflicts in work with colleagues at various times over the years. However, one that readily comes to mind is the one that happened last year when I started my new job. My co-teacher was “habitually” on the phone during activities with the children in the class.

Our program policy requires teachers to leave their smartphones in the staff room. However, I did confront her in a way that I should say was unprofessional. Knowing what I know now, the approach employed using Nonviolent Communication (NVC) strategies would have been different.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) has been described as a language of compassion, a tool for positive social change, and spiritual practice. NVC gives us the tools and consciousness to understand what triggers us, take responsibility for our reactions, and deepen our connection with ourselves and others, thereby transforming our habitual responses to life.

Knowing what I know now, two principles of NVC come to mind that might have in resolving the issue-Observation and active listening.

Observations are what we see or hear that we identify as the stimulus to our reactions. My aim would have been to describe what I am reacting to concretely, precisely, and neutrally, which would help create a shared reality with the other person. The observation gives the context for our expression of feelings. The key here is to describe my observation without being judgemental. For example, I said to her, “You are rude, and unprofessional” to which she disagrees.

On the other hand, I had said to her, “permit me to ask, is there any problem going on? I observe that you are always on the phone. I didn’t hear you say hello to me,” She is more likely to respond positively and thereby open the conversation to discuss her use of a phone in the classroom. 

When we can describe what we see or hear in observation language without mixing in evaluation, we raise the likelihood that the person listening to us will hear this first step without immediately responding and being more willing to listen to our feelings and needs.

Learning to translate judgments and interpretations into observation language moves us away from right/wrong thinking. It helps us take responsibility for our reactions by directing our attention to our needs as the source of our feelings rather than the other person. In this way, observations paving the way towards a greater connection with ourselves and others emerge as a crucial building block towards a profound consciousness shift (baynvc, n.d.).

The other strategy I would have used is active listening. Active listening is a way to hear and respond to another person to increase shared understanding. Since she had already hurt my feeling, I hardly listened. Even though she was trying to explain, I was paying attention to what she said. It is critical to pay attention to the other person when talking. Focus on the words as stated to comprehend what is being said. Paying attention to the points being made instead of mentally preparing my response would have made the difference. 

If we improve our listening and communication skills, we will better understand others’ perspectives, emotions, and needs. Listening and hearing what another person is saying are essential to working through conflict.

 Hey guys, in the conflict described above about using a phone in the classroom, what would you have done differently? Thank you for your response!

                                                      Reference

byanvc. (n.d.). Communication/basics of Nonviolent Communication. 

 Retrieved from https://baynvc.org/basics-of-nonviolent-communication/